


Life of the Flesh

by Isilfic (Isilweth)



Category: DCU - Comicverse, Green Lantern (Comics), Justice League of America (Comics)
Genre: 1000-3000 words, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Queer Character, Character Study, Closeted Character, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Graphic Sex, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Other Warnings Apply, Rare Pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-21
Updated: 2010-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-06 13:02:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isilweth/pseuds/Isilfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Todd met Kyle in a small club for metas in Los Angeles. Sex with his sister's boyfriend was never something he intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life of the Flesh

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning:** Internalized Homophobia and [Untreated Schizophrenia](http://www.npr.org/programs/atc/features/2002/aug/schizophrenia/).
> 
> **Spoilers:** Set just after "Emerald Dawn" before Kyle moves to New York and during Obsidian's tenure with the JLA.
> 
> **Thanks** to Ash for the inspiration and enthusiasm and to neotoma for the insightful beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Sex with his sister's boyfriend was never something he intended. It just happened. An accident of circumstance. A mandate of fate. One more way to be left behind in the world. One more way to be the rejected. To be fair, he really wasn't her boyfriend at the time. That came later, when Todd least expected to be reminded of yet another failure.

Jennie had called him 'clingy'. _She left you like everyone always leaves._ She told him to find his own friends and fight his own fights. So, he was trying to figure out how to do that.

It all started in a small club for metas in Los Angeles. Todd was sulking in the shadows as he often did. People watching. Watching their fights. Their power plays. Their betrayals. Their laughter. Their dancing, undulating to the music. Rubbing thighs and spilling drinks where they shouldn't. Slipping off to corners. Hiding in the shadows. _It's disgusting._

The man's dark hair was mussy and fell in front of his face, masking his eyes. His jaw was strong, but not quite squared, just left of center. His mouth was parted slightly as he concentrated on the paper on the table and the charcoal in his hand. Sitting on the coaster was a Zesti rather than a beer and Todd's mouth quirked.

He'd chosen a corner as Todd had done. A little off and away from the others. Yet, people knew him here. They'd stop by his table in twos and threes, smile and say "hi", chat for a moment or two, then move on, leave the man to his drawing. He'd overheard him called "Kyle". It was nice to have a name to go with the form. Kyle was friendly in a way Todd never found comfortable. It just always felt false when he tried on those smiles.

Instead, he told himself, he was content just to watch Kyle. Just to see his beautiful lopsided smile and his hand moving across the page. If all he did was watch, it wouldn't mean anything. Scratch. Scratch. He could stand there forever, slipping into shadows and no one would mind. _No one cares._ It was almost pleasant except how it wasn't. _Everyone wants him._ Everyone wanted to be by Kyle, to receive his smile. _Not you. No one wants you. _

No one wanted Todd at all.

Apparently Kyle had other plans. He'd gotten out of his seat and was making his way towards him. Todd's instinct said to sink further into the shadows as the man came closer, so Todd did the opposite. Held himself straight and dignified. Looked him right in the bright green inquisitive eyes.

Todd braced himself for the onslaught of negative emotion the Shadowlands shared with him. Kyle radiated grief, the long forever kind of grief you learn to live with and accept. The kind that leaves a whole in your heart you never quite know how to fill. But it wasn't all-encompassing and the reassuring smile Kyle gave him was genuine. This was a man with a strong heart and a hopeful spirit.

"Hi. Couldn't help noticing you watching me." _He wants something._

"I like to watch people." Challenging. Defensive. Todd hadn't meant it to be that way.

Kyle's smile broadened. "Yeah, I gathered that." He dropped his gaze then, suddenly shy. God, he was beautiful. _You want something._

"I've been kinda watching you too." He held the paper out for Todd. Dumbfounded and frightened now, Todd stared at the page without taking it.

It was himself.

Todd.

Right there on the page staring back at him. It was unnerving and Todd couldn't figure out what had possessed Kyle to draw him. Or for that matter how he found him hiding in the shadows. He didn't want to be inspected and categorized. He needed to know what Kyle wanted from him. _Jen sent him - no it was your dad - Molly. They don't trust you._

Kyle had drawn a sort of fish-eye perspective, with Todd in focus, looking out at the world of bright, moving flashes of life all around him. He was standing against the wall, the shadows wrapped around him, blurring his lines and redefining his edges. Pushing him out into the world and through minuscule spaces. Making him distinct.

Kyle had seen him. Amid all the people here to be seen, Kyle had seen the man hiding in the shadows. _He put you on paper. He has your soul now. He trapped it in his drawing._ Todd gathered his will and took the offered drawing. Cleared his throat. "Thank you," he shouted over the din of the music.

"My pleasure."

Todd looked up and met those eyes again. Still inquisitive. Still questioning. Asking. _Asking for what?_ Permission? Oh God, did he have permission? _You never have permission._

He tilted his head. Subtly. Kyle would see - could see. _He can see everything. He knows all your secrets._ He didn't need the false posturing and superficial antics prevalent on the dance floor and at the bar. Todd turned and headed further into the club. He didn't dare check to see if Kyle followed him. Just kept on going, down a back corridor, into a secluded corner, amongst the comfort of the shadows. Todd knew God could see him no matter where he was, but at least in the shadows he could pretend to hide. If it happened in the shadows, it wouldn't have to count for anything.

Finally, he turned around and immediately tensed. _He's following you._ All the way into the shadows.  
.  
Todd grabbed Kyle by the hair and swung him around against the wall. Held himself in check. He didn't need to see the deep, dark parts of his soul. Didn't need to feel pain as well as pleasure. He ignored the guilt in his gut and the voices in his head. _We're not going away! You can't get rid of us!_ He decided instead to give and in the process he could allow himself to take. To have something for himself.

Todd leaned in slow and gently brought his lips to Kyle's. Pressed softly and lightly darted his tongue in the opening, feeling Kyle's exhale wash over his mouth. He smelled of Zesti, caesar salad dressing and lemon. Todd lingered a moment, breathing in his scent, their lips brushed together.

Kyle hadn't responded yet. Just taken what he'd been given. _Take, take, take._ Todd was unsure, so he pulled away. He'd probably misread Kyle's signs. _He's out to get you._ He didn't want this after all. Todd was taking advantage of an unsuspecting innocent. Forcing his own depraved desires down the man's throat. _Talk about disgusting._

"Hey," Kyle reached out and pulled him close again. He smiled, "I thought we were making out here."

"I, uh... yeah," Todd felt the tell-tale heat of a blush rising up his face and was grateful for the darkness obscuring it. He leaned in close to Kyle again. Made himself smile.

Todd was still clutching Kyle's drawing in his left hand and he didn't bother to let go when he kissed his mouth again. Nor did he let go when he dropped kisses down his neck and snuck them across his collarbone. He heard Kyle moan beneath him and felt strong hips buck against his own. Kyle swung his arm around to cup his hand behind Todd's head and pull them closer together. Todd reached up to hold on to Kyle's hard bicep. They were pressed against each other now and Todd reveled in the hard, sculpted delight of Kyle's body. The man obviously worked out and he was flat against him, the perfect mirror to his own body. It felt so right. _You know it's not._

He ran his hand down Kyle's chest and dropped to his knees in front of him, undid his fly and inhaled the hearty musky scent of him. Oh, Lord, who is merciful, how he he wanted him. _The Lord's not listening._ Life wasn't fair.

Kyle wasn't protesting, though. In fact, he'd begun to arch his erection toward Todd's mouth. Todd began working his cock the best way he knew how to do. Todd couldn't judge the meaning of the moans above his head, but Kyle's dick was hot in his mouth and he could feel Kyle's pulse against his tongue and Kyle's hips tremble beneath his fingertips. It made Todd ache.

Come was pouring into the back of his throat and Todd drew himself up while the warm, sweet then bitter liquid spilled onto his tongue and across his numb lips. His head was spinning, his cock throbbed for attention and Kyle was tugging his hair and saying... something. _He's cursing. He's leaving. Leaving you, too._

Before Todd registered how it happened, he and Kyle had swapped positions with Kyle now on the floor before him and Todd's head resting on the cold tile of the wall. Todd was still holding that drawing in his hand and he took a moment to feel the smoothness of the paper beneath his fingers. He could feel where the oil and sweat from his palm had soaked into the fiber and he wondered if it had obscured the drawing on the other side.

Kyle, Todd decided, wasn't very good at giving head. He was all teeth and not enough tongue. All saliva and not enough suction. Ugh! Life. Was. Not. Fair.

"Stop." He grabbed the collar of Kyle's jacket and yanked him up to his feet. "Just stop."

"But I..."

_Don't want to do something so wrong._ Kyle had been humoring him. _Teasing you._ Todd's frustration was pushing at his edges and he could feel himself losing form, drifting out into the darkness.

But first, Todd needed release.

"It's okay. I don't need that. Just let me do this." Todd pushed himself against Kyle forcing him to stumble backwards into the light against the opposite wall. He humped him once, testing the feel of his slick cock rubbing against Kyle's, then sliding up beneath his t-shirt and against the sweat of his hair and belly. Kyle brought his hand down and cupped it, adding just the right amount of friction and warmth.

In that moment, Todd's entire world collapsed into physical sensation. He felt free and restrained. Bound to reality. Kyle moaned and nibbled his neck.

Todd's release was sharp and sudden. Then there was too much sensation. He put his hand around Kyle's. Rubbed over his fingers.

Kyle was wearing a ring.

Todd stepped away to examine it better. It wasn't a wedding ring, though Kyle was trying to hide it.

Green Lantern. _He's one of them. They can hurt you. They all hurt you. They won't let you hide._

Rage quickened in Todd. Liar. Todd hated being lied to - hated things being kept from him. _You're not trustworthy._ Everyone had lied to him, his parents, even Jen. _They all lie._ Al never lied to him. Good men didn't lie.

He shoved Kyle hard against the wall. "How dare you!"

"It's not --–"

"Like hell!" Todd crumpled the drawing he still held in his hand and threw it at Kyle's chest. It dropped to the floor.

The betrayal stung and Todd was trembling with his wrath. He knew if he let it, it would soon have control over him. He retreated back into the shadows, then entirely into the Shadowlands.

When he saw Kyle in New York months later, it all came flooding back, how Kyle had spied on him, captured him, used him and lied to him. He would've decked Kyle even if he hadn't been rifling through Jennie's personals. He couldn't imagine what she saw in the guy.


End file.
